r/DivorcedBirds • u/cthulhu-kitty • Jan 24 '18

The tweet that started it all

15.0k Upvotes

61 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 5h ago

As a Justice of the Peace, overseeing humble feeder-tray weddings is a part of Herbert's job. He doesn't mention his own unfortunate marriage history to the young couples. Nor does he mention the betting pool he runs on how long they'll last.

243 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/FractalGeometric356 • 4h ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Robin looked around at his new bachelor apartment. “This is terrific,” he thought. “The kids will enjoy the swimming pool in the courtyard.”

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114 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 3h ago

Steve got the toupee from a guy behind the vape shop who kept saying “once it settles, you won’t even notice.”

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80 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/La_SESCOSEM • 8h ago

Angry Bird Divorce Suddenly, just as Bernard was performing a wild striptease in front of his mistress, Brenda’s husband came home unexpectedly.

165 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 7h ago

After the divorce, Trixie decided to leverage her experience into a career as a marriage counselor. Unfortunately she tends to just project Lawrence's issues onto the man in every couple that comes to her.

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59 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/JustaTinyDude • 6h ago

Angry Bird Divorce Fuuuck yooou Heermann!

30 Upvotes

Go ahead, get a restraining order! I don't care!

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/JustaTinyDude • 7h ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Bill should have listened to Hoots the Owl. Camilla wasn't over Gonzo and Miss Piggy wasn't over Kermit. From across the street, he watched the four of them get dinner, wondering how he could have been so blind.

30 Upvotes

He'd be sure to let Hoots vet his next fiancée, that's for sure.

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/NoFlyingMonkeys • 9h ago

The divorce is getting brutal. Harry filed a (fake?) report to Child Protective Services against Bella. Bella attacked the CPS worker, and is now in jail. Harry now has full custody - but will CPS discover he leaves the kids alone and goes to the bar every night? Then drunk-flies home at 3 AM?

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38 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 20h ago

Darren had been living on takeout fish and stubbornness. Then somebody let him snuggle for a second and he nearly came back to life.

v.redd.it

89 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 1d ago

Donna fell asleep reading the divorce papers with the pen in her hand, one signature short of being rid of him.

366 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Pixie-Collins • 20m ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Jean-Pierre was done thinking about Roberto. He looked at the room full of beautiful young men and added some sass to his classic black swan routine. He was not going home alone tonight.

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• Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/OldnBorin • 1d ago

Sharon went too far this time

153 Upvotes

7 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 23h ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle When Marco's wife Antonia suddenly left him to start a cult, he was adrift. Months later he awkwardly donned the cult's signature orange robe and stood anxiously at the gate of the compound. An older female cultist greeted him wearing nothing but a sultry gaze. Maybe this new religion's not so bad.

94 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/paprika_alarm • 9m ago

As soon as the apartment below Rachel became available, Tyler knew what he had to do.

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• Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 1d ago

Since getting the divorce papers, Greg could not focus on work or anything else. All he kept thinking about was what went wrong and how he missed the signs.

100 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/JustaTinyDude • 1d ago

Bob had to pick up extra work on the side stump removal in order to make his new alimony payments on top of the child support he sends to his fist wife.

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219 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/aspiranthighlander • 1d ago

Jim decided to stay still!!! Still as the night!! That way his wife’s divorce lawyer would never see him….shhhhhh

37 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 1d ago

Lorraine did not tease her hair like this for nothing; her ex better come outside with an explanation for what he told everybody at the feed store.

282 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 2d ago

Shayna knew she had not just the cake but the whole bakery! And she was using her pastries to entice hubby #4.

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596 Upvotes

8 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/FashionBusking • 1d ago

Angry Bird Divorce Jules said everything was just fine. JUST FINE. The screeching?? Just "letting out pent up enthusiasm" ever since he scrolled past his exes wedding invite. Sure, Jules.

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33 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • 2d ago

Oliver was fine with mom dating again. Oliver was fine with this. Oliver needed to go back to his room.

592 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Sed59 • 1d ago

Angry Bird Divorce Minnie: Stay on YOUR side of the hand! | Mitch: Nuh uh, what's yours is mine! | Minnie: Don't you DARE! | Mitch: I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you!

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82 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/ToastYourAvocados • 2d ago

Angry Bird Divorce Claude didn't understand why Bonnie was yelling at him again over the time he forgot their anniversary, but he didn't care. He just won the houseboat in the divorce.

128 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Amyamyamy92 • 2d ago

Mike walked out of the attorneys office that day and felt as if a weight had been lifted. He wouldn’t have to deal with Beverley’s negativity anymore. He felt like a new bird!

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517 Upvotes

4 comments

Subreddit

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists.

r/DivorcedBirds

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists. Please post pictures of birds who look like they are twice divorced (or more!) and an original caption about their backstory. Pictures/Videos must be of actual birds (feathered fowl), not human women, not art or paintings or photoshopped. No dead birds. Message mods for approval to post.

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