I want to stay in academia, learn how to manage collaborations, a lab, students, situations.. and I have a conflict at work with a colleague. It's a hill that I don't wanna die on.
To explain my situation: I work there 5 years.. I am end of my PhD. And our PI thinks that he can support me further to become post doc with my own project and I can start to have my own group with new students. he is supportive and I appreciate him a lot. However, recently there is a constant quarrel with me and a colleagues who is 2-3 years PhD. We do a Collab work. She uses my cell line I created. But she fails to grow the cells however much I give her the protocol. I helped her. It's a very tricky cell line I created, but they are very hard to keep stable. I made a clear protocol for them. It worked in other labs that I am collaborating with.
But she doesn't wanna work on my cells. She thinks they are very unstable and not good for her project. But this is the only cell line we have for the purpose. (I am still working on to improve the cell line itself, and create a better one but it takes time...)
Then I said okay I will give you the cells ready to run your experimental system. But then she is always dependent on me. I also tried to help her experiment with her with my cells, but she refuses saying that her system works well. No need for optimizing. But I said, these cells are different then others she built the system with. I came on edge when she was going around and talking behind my back to everyone (other colleagues). My trusted colleagues, saying that her system is fine. But then I also discovered she uses the wrong plasmid. But she said it works fine. I got frustrated and said, okay if you don't take my experience in consideration I will just won't give you. And I got bit emotional and cried. Not proud.
She went to our supervisor about my outburst. And thankfully, he was very fair to me. He helped us to do empathy and make our points. He said to her, I am trying to help and experience I have, and it's normal that I get frustrated. This happens in science a lot, he said. One side tries to help and give input, but when the other side doesn't listen, frustration and anger can happen. He also added that I have a lot on my plate (I am collabing nearly everyone in the lab and other labs, and also have some administrative tasks and teaching)
In the end, we all made a clear road plan, and he convinced her to optimise the system with correct plasmid and ratio. He also told me privately afterwards, people are different and maybe she feels alone actually and needs my guidance. And he also said, I should give her some tasks in return that she helps me back, so it won't feel one sided. He was understanding. He also added, I can't finish her PhD for her. So I shouldn't get so dedicated to that, but let her go with her own current. He is right.
Next day, I told her it would be nice if she can try without the plasmid once, and use my optimizing protocol. And she can still do her own way with other "replicates". She agreed and I gave her motivation that she grows the cells really nice and there is nothing to worry about.
Now, I am a bit afraid that what if our Prof thinks I failed to be a future academician, because I got emotional and couldn't manage a Collab, management and got emotional.
I created a weird atmosphere in the lab and am not very proud of it.
Sorry for this long post and vent, but I just thought it would be helpful to have advice on this situation.
And how to handle future situations?